Well hi there good folk of Hog Nation. As most of you know, I've been on hiatus for a couple of months. Like any other sport, hogslaying just can't go on for 12 months of the year. I know all of you have tried it, so you probably know that cuttin' up hog meat on a 95 degrees, humid July day just never turns out as well as you'd like it to. So like a good slayer of hogs should, I've just been sweatin', thirstin', carryin' on, and crushing proverbial hogs during these summer months.
Today I would like to announce the commencement of Hog Season 2010. Autumn is upon us in Kentucky, bringing the perfect climate for slaying, dismantling and preserving swine, all the while slaying the proverbial hog. Moreover, most of you won't be workin' too much tobacco as ember days fall on this week (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ember_days). So you should have plenty of time to reflect on God's gift to man and what it means to you--the hog, the proverbial hog, and the hog killin' man's good fortune of slaying them both.
Hogslaying is a sport. It is also a craft, some may say an art. The former requires determination, endurance and grit. The latter calls for vision, dexterity and handiness with a blade. Accordingly, the devoted Hog Slaying man is a sportsman and a craftsman. Every sportsman or craftsman must have tools to pursue his trade.
Here are the tools needed for Hogslaying:
#1. Homemade Knives
As you see, here we have three variations of homemade knives. I'm not sure who made these...Probably my great grandfather Estill or "Pickles" Estill. I do know that these things have some miles on them. Blood, sweat and tears and bourbon went into forging these bad boys. And by-God, blood sweat and tears and bourbon will go into slaying hogs with them. It's the only way.
Homemade Knife, Variation 4:
#2. Sausage Grinder
The sausage grinder is the main hardware at the sausage station. It is usually a two or three man job. As you can see here, the Spiritual Leader is mashin' the hog cuttings in and the Apprentice is packaging and listening to his teachings. It is not uncommon for "The Judge" to reach in and put a pinch in his mouth and tell you "Them's fresh sausage grindins." Don't be alarmed, he's doing you a favor.
#3. All-Purpose Grinder
For all-purpose grinding.
#4. Spices sitting on the assorted chemicals shelf.
For several months of the year you would think, "What in the hell is the ground sage doing here by the Belt Conditioner and the Acrylic Spray Paint." But then Hog Season rolls around and suddenly, like divine revelation, you just know.
#5. Propane Stove
Because there's no pork loin fresher than straight off the hog.
#6. Cast Iron Skillet
Once again, there's no pork loin fresher than just off the hog. No city slicker cooks off of these bad boys.
Alright folks, there are various other tools that go into a good hog kill (such as your bandsaw and your Southern States farm supplies hat), but I couldn't capture a picture of them all. However, I do have a couple BONUS ITEMS for you!!!
Bonus item #1: Finished Product
Country Hams, One and Two year old. Still a curin'.
Bonus Item #2: Oertel's '92
Straight out of Louisville, the quintessential hog slayer's beer. Slogan: "Cheerful Refreshment." Acceptable substitutes: Stroh's, Old Milwaukee, PBR. Good for when yer-a-thirstin'.
Bonus Item #3: Homemade Tobacco Knife
If you don't know what this is, or think it's a "hatchet" instead of a "tobacco knife," then you took the wrong exit, City Slicker.
Bonus Item #4: Moonshine
Whether it's of the White Lighting, Swamp Warter, or Apple Pie variation, it is a must-have for any good hog kill.
Bonus Item #5: Ancient Age
Go on down to Bob's Bar with Uncle Jack and get ye a half-pint of it. It may bring tears to your eyes.
Bonus Item #6: Camouflage
Because someone will be wearing it.
Alright folks, thanks for reading and happy Hog Season 2010! Go and slay a proverbial hog to celebrate the cause!
