cinco de cerdo (hog)

Howdy Hog Nation, happy cinco de cerdo (fifth of hog for all of yall who ain't versed in mexican). Sorry for the inactivity on the hog blog for the last week or so. Finals have been upon me and I've just been too busy to post. Personally, I don't really think wastin' my time with this school junk is any more important than slayin' proverbial hogs. Hell, I already got a B.A. in Swine Killin' from the University of May's Lick, and that seems like all a well-balanced hog slayin' man would need to succeed in life. But, my parents insist on this school junk, and I'm not really one to disappoint. Anyway, I'm off to celebrate the completion of my last undergraduate assignment and to slay some dos equis to celebrate the great Mexican tradition of hog slaying. ¡Feliz Cinco de Cerdos tacuaches!

songs of days

dear hog nation,

i have been lazy and haven't posted any songs so here are some new ones. all are from a post-rock playlist i downloaded a couple of days ago, typical bleak soundscape u.k. post-rock sound, good drift music.

3 hogs for slaying:

June of 44 - Sink Is Busted

June of 44 - Mooch

From Monument to Masses - The Quiet Before

p.s. don't worry hog nation, next essential character of the Thanksgiving + 1 Hog Kill will be introduced soon

Saturday Song of the Day

The Moldy Peaches are a punky folk/folky punk band from New York. Wikipedia says they are part of the "anti-folk" movement, whatever the hell that means. Well, I guess it means "a music genre that takes the earnestness of politically charged 1960s folk music and punk and subverts it." Whatever. They have some irreverent folk songs that are pretty entertaining, and this one always seems perfect for a nice Saturday afternoon hog slay.

"I like it when my hair is poofy. I like it when you slip me a rufy."

13 Who's Got The Crack.mp3

"and from SAE, the Hog Slayers!"

I'm a proud slayer of hogs today. Not only has Marquis Teague, the #2 overall player in 2011 class, shocked the Loserville Cards and committed to UK (keep in mind #1 in the class Gilchrist already has committed to be a 'Cat) , but yesterday my band of brothers won the Red Bull Chariot Race tournament. The winning team receives their weight in Red Bull, meaning I will have 600 pounds of Red Bull delivered to my apartment in the very near future. Now, I'm no bull slayer, but mark my words: every one of these Red Bulls will be slain by the 1929 Broadway Street hog slaying unit before we have made our triumphant walks to receive our B.A.'s in Swine Killin' on May 15.

600 pounds of Red Bull is pretty damn cool, and just about the only thing that could make me more excited than receiving 600 pounds of Red Bull is drinking 600 pounds of Red Bull. But folks, this isn't what has made me such a proud Hog Slayer on this fine day. When my honorable associate (the kid with the white helmet and white toga being pulled in a wheel chair by two gladiators) contacted me and asked for a team name idea, only one name came to mind. The words rolled off my tongue like sweet victory rolling across the finish line in a wheelchair-chariot. "The Hog Slayers." My honorable associate responded: "It would be an honor. I shall drive the Hog Slayers chariot to victory. ALL SLAY HOGS!"

Today I am so proud to be a Hog Slayer because, Hog Nation, Hog Slaying has become much bigger than the little town of May's Lick, Kentucky. As the speakers announced the Hog Slayers, the Red Bull girls batted their lashes in awe of the brave slayers and the wheelchair-chariot rolled to victory, my eyes teared up. Hog Slaying is no longer just killin' swine and drinkin' some swamp warter the Friday after Thanksgiving in May's Lick KY. No, my friends, it has become a way of life, a movement that is spreading like wildfire across these great United States.

Hog Nation, I offer a toast to the dissemination of the ideals of the well-balanced hog slayin' man. To all of you out there who would rather have 600 pounds of raw swine than 600 pounds of Red Bull, who have sawed a hog, or have had tears in your eyes because that piece of two-year-old country ham was just so salty--raise your glasses and slay the proverbial hog. It's a great day to be a hog slayer.

p.s. Congratulations to the Hog Slayers gladiators! You have served Hog Nation well.

song of the day

Here is a picture of Bonnie "Prince" Billy playing at Preservation Hall. Although the show was sold out, some unfortunate soul didn't show up and I was lucky enough to get a ticket and squeeze in the hallway to see the show. Will Oldham aka Bonnie "Prince" Billy is a Louisville native. He is an actor, photographer, and has become a cult hero as a folk/country/rock musician. Oldham is a thespian turned musician who sings poetic lyrics in his trademark warbling voice. BUT, he's still got that grizzled hog slayin' look to him, and hog nation, if you don't love his music at least love him for that. I love both, and here's a song from his newest album, "The Wonder Show of the World."

Bonnie "Prince" Billy and the Cairo Gang - Troublesome Houses

A Hog Slaying Glossary of Terms

Howdy folks, it has come to my attention that some of you city slickers may not understand a lot we Kentuckians are saying about the T+1 Hog Kill. I hate this for ye. Hell, there's poetry in hog slaying, honey, and that's why I offer ye this hog glossary of terms so ye can fully understand and appreciate what we hog slayers do.

Hog Terms:

Slay a hog (usage 1): dismantle a swine specimen, putting its various body parts to their respective hog-meat use. Act can be done by cutting, sawing, grinding, curing, etc. (note, all parts of the hog are used in the slaying. Hell, the Judge even takes about a coffee cup of brains home to fry up with some grits).

Slay a hog (usage 2): drink a beer with a certain pronounced fervor, typical of a grizzled resident of the Kentucky side of the Ohio River Valley.

swamp water (pronunciation: swamp warter): swamp colored/flavored grain alcohol or moonshine that is introduced to the Hog Kill event when the intensity of the slay must be raised. This fire water is usually introduced in three varieties: apple pie, orange, and swamp warter; but, you will always choose swamp warter.

country ham: thigh or rump of hog, salt cured for a period of several months. process is widely used in rural sections of Tennessee, Georgia, North Carolina, and Virginia, but it is only relevant to the well balanced lifestyle of hog slayin' man in Kentucky.

city ham: type of ham that city slickers are accustomed to consuming (e.g., honey baked ham). get that junk outta here, boy.

Two-year-old country ham: a 4 pound rock of salt served in a hog medium.

The Turtle Man (more to come on him):

The Hog Slayer (more to come):

The Judge (more to come):

The Spiritual Leader:

Alright Hog Nation, that's all for now. But please leave questions or comments about the Hog Slaying Glossary, as it is always expanding and invaluable to understanding the well-balanced life of the hog slaying man. Good day to you, let us give thanks and slay hogs!

Regards,

Hype Man

ate too much hog, been lazy

(me)

hog nation, looks like i slayed too much hog over the weekend, must have been down with gout and couldn't get on here to put up some hog tunes of the day. i'll make up for it for with a couple here:

Butterfly Child and Papa Sprain are two Belfast bands that were part of the post-rock scene that emerged in the early 90s in the U.K. I don't know much about them, as their discographies are pretty brief and it's nearly impossible to find anything about the bands or their members, not even on the world wide interweb. I discovered them at theblackenedair.blogspot.com and you can go there to find most of their other stuff as well as a lot of really good music of the same style. GIVE THESE BANDS A CHANCE, they are really good.

Butterfly Child - "Lunar Eclipse"">

Butterfly Child - "Viola"">

Papa Sprain - Flying to Vegas">

Papa Sprain - Shake Your Foot">