Tuesday, April 20, 2010

A Hog Slaying Glossary of Terms


Howdy folks, it has come to my attention that some of you city slickers may not understand a lot we Kentuckians are saying about the T+1 Hog Kill. I hate this for ye. Hell, there's poetry in hog slaying, honey, and that's why I offer ye this hog glossary of terms so ye can fully understand and appreciate what we hog slayers do.


Hog Terms:


Slay a hog (usage 1): dismantle a swine specimen, putting its various body parts to their respective hog-meat use. Act can be done by cutting, sawing, grinding, curing, etc. (note, all parts of the hog are used in the slaying. Hell, the Judge even takes about a coffee cup of brains home to fry up with some grits).


Slay a hog (usage 2): drink a beer with a certain pronounced fervor, typical of a grizzled resident of the Kentucky side of the Ohio River Valley.


swamp water (pronunciation: swamp warter): swamp colored/flavored grain alcohol or moonshine that is introduced to the Hog Kill event when the intensity of the slay must be raised. This fire water is usually introduced in three varieties: apple pie, orange, and swamp warter; but, you will always choose swamp warter.


country ham: thigh or rump of hog, salt cured for a period of several months. process is widely used in rural sections of Tennessee, Georgia, North Carolina, and Virginia, but it is only relevant to the well balanced lifestyle of hog slayin' man in Kentucky.


city ham: type of ham that city slickers are accustomed to consuming (e.g., honey baked ham). get that junk outta here, boy.


Two-year-old country ham: a 4 pound rock of salt served in a hog medium.


The Turtle Man (more to come on him):



The Hog Slayer (more to come):


The Judge (more to come):


The Spiritual Leader:



Alright Hog Nation, that's all for now. But please leave questions or comments about the Hog Slaying Glossary, as it is always expanding and invaluable to understanding the well-balanced life of the hog slaying man. Good day to you, let us give thanks and slay hogs!


Regards,

Hype Man


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